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Do I have... problems?

Let me just start this off right away by saying I'm pregnant. My family was never the type to be huggy huggy "I love you" please tell me all about your feeeeeelings kind of family. We get together, have a couple of beers, talk about the stock market, and then move on. Nothing personal. Know what I mean? We live near my family and my husband's family lives two plane rides away. This is the first grandchild on both sides (lucky me). My parents are very much treating me as if I'm still a person with other things going on in my life besides harboring a fetus. We can talk about the usual stuff, you know what I mean? My in laws however (particularly my mother in law of course) are not so relaxed. My husband calls on holidays and just about every other weekend. Every phone call the interrogation begins. Every weekend she emails me nothing but pregnancy questions. Why don't you find out if it's a girl or a boy, are you seeing a midwife or a doctor, do they come to your house or do you go there ...is she showing yet? Is she feeling sick? How sick? Every day? It's getting to the point where I am feeling very... violated? And it's starting to weigh heavily on my mind. Why can't I just be like the women on tv who have aggressive mothers in law yet are still not bothered by them when they're not physically around? WHY AM I SO BOTHERED? I am starting to think I do have issues. My husband of course is sympathetic, but he keeps telling me I need to relax. It's just the way she asks the questions, not so much the questions that bother me... She sounds as if she's asking questions in regards to some life or death scenario, when it's just a baby and I'm still... six months away from my due date. Not to mention after avoiding us for years she's coming down to see us when I'm in my last trimester and I had to say NO you're not coming to stay with us as soon as we have the baby, we'll go see you once the baby is ready. As soon as I told her I was due in October she said Oh okay we'll fly down in October! And since then I have been having nothing but nightmares about her and my pregnancy. Yes? Well at this point I must say you're probably right on the money. Lol... You guys, I stopped answering the questions weeks ago. It was insane. Now if I email her it is only non pregnancy related. She is relentless, asking the same questions again and again. You're right I shouldn't let it bother me, but I can't help it... If I could go back, I honestly wouldn't have gotten pregnant, I would have waited until her daughter (her favorite) was pregnant so I could have been ignored. At this point a bit of ignoring would be a dream come true.

Public Comments

1. yes
2. I understand how you're feeling. It's important to remember that since this is also the in-laws first grandchild, It is a new experience for them as well. They are understandably excited and want to know all of the details. Just try to be patient with them and answer thier questions. Don't feel the need to defend yourself on decisions that you and your husband have made regarding the arrival of your little one. Every family is different, and it's sometimes just hard to deal with his family being so different from your own. Do the best you can with it, and like I said - just be patient and try to keep a smile on your face. Congrats and Good Luck!
3. Remember, relax and take it easy..It is not your fault, but quite ofen pregnant ladies tend to be a little more sensitive.. Those people are excited about the baby, just relax and be patient with them..Don't take things so hard..It is not good for you !
4. With all the chemical changes happening in your body things may bother you more than normal. Pregnant women are more emotional than normal. But your in laws are excited. And since they are much farther away, they don't see you everyday and depend only on what info you give them. They are showing concern not only for their future grandchild but also for you. Try to be more patient with them and remember that they only ask because of their concern and excitement. Maybe you could get an email out to them before they email you and let them know how you are doing each week. You may not find it so irritating if you are offering up the info as opposed to them asking. Either way, the birth of a child effects so many people. It is a beautiful and wonderful event. And for first time grandparents it is just as exciting as having your own first child. And having loving grandparents from both sides will only benefit your child. So be kind to the grandparents. This is a first for them also.